Musical Introvert: Neko Case

True story: I have yet to meet anyone who has listened to Neko Case who hasn't developed an enormous, heart-wrenching, soul-consuming crush on her.

Literally every member of my family loves her. And my in-laws. How could you not? She's amazingly talented, her lyrics are like little truth arrows that spear you through the heart, and she's beautiful to boot.

A redhead with a sword and a muscle car -
this woman IS the Kinsey scale. 

And based on some of her lyrics, and the general tone and tenor of her music, I'm going to guess she's an introvert.

When I tell people I've started this blog, a good number of them say something along the lines of, "Isn't that kind of putting yourself out there for an introvert?"

Who do you think writes the novels you read? Who do you think spends hours gazing at the ceiling, thinking up fantastical lands full of people who don't exist, and then spends more hours hunched over a computer, alone in a room, so that you can enjoy that imaginary world?

Who do you think creates art?

I'm not saying extroverts can't be artistic and creative. Of course they can. But the domain of art is inside the mind. And that's where introverts thrive. Clearly introverts can "put themselves out there," or we wouldn't all be collectively twitching with excitement over the second season of Game of Thrones debuting in April.

Case in point: Ms. Neko Case.



Listen to some of these lyrics:

1) "Look for Me (I'll Be Around)," from the album Blacklisted
When the new crowd starts to bore you
Just remember there is someone to adore you
When you're weary of nights out on the town
Look for me, I'll be around


2) "Hold On, Hold On," from the album Fox Confessor Brings the Flood
I leave the party at 3 a.m., 
Alone, thank God


3) "I'm an Animal," from the album Middle Cyclone
Yes, there are things that I'm still so afraid
But my courage is roaring like the sound of the sun 


4) "Marais la Nuit," from the album Middle Cyclone
On the full album, this track is literally thirty minutes of crickets recorded at Neko Case's farm in Vermont.

Come on. Tell me what kind of person records thirty minutes of crickets! Oh, that's right. One of us. (I have personally listened to this track at least twice in a row in its entirety, staring up at the ceiling and concocting daydreams. I'm not sure I've ever been happier than that.)

Pep Talk: On Small Talk

A new approach to protecting your privacy

I just watched this TED Talk with Hasan Elahi called "FBI, Here I am!" After being erroneously placed on a terrorist watch list (and having his name cleared), Hasan was advised by the FBI to let them know when he was traveling so he could avoid further problems.

So he did. He'd call them when he was about to take a trip, and his calls turned into emails, and his emails turned into long letters with photos. Eventually he started tracking his every move and uploading it to his own site where anyone could monitor his activity.

Being watched 24 hours a day? That's like every introvert's worst nightmare.

But just after the ten-minute mark, he begins to talk about how putting more information about himself online actually helped him control his image and provided him with more privacy.

In an era when everything you do on the internet is catalogued, archived, and monitored, how do you manage your identity? You control your image by flooding the market with the information you want viewers to see.

Something to think about.

Pep Talk: On Solitude

Introversion 101

Introversion gets a bad reputation, veiled in part by misinformation, and judged by extroverts with all the vehemence of Star-Bellied Sneeches, sure that their way is the right way, sure that introverts are snobs, dimwits, or potentially mentally ill.

Thanks for that, guys.

The most often-cited statistic about introversion is that introverts make up 25% to a third of the general population. But this was an estimated number, all the way back in the 1960s, when someone asked Isabel Myers (of the Myers-Briggs personality test) what percentage of the population introverts comprised. It was a guess.

In 1998, the Myers-Briggs organization released data compiled from their official tests - and introverts make up 50.7 percent of the general population, with extroverts rounding out the other 49.3 percent.

How is it that introverts can represent half of the general population and still be so poorly misunderstood and misrepresented?

In the same way that society can tell us that blonde women are more attractive than brunettes and redheads, prompting women to book appointments with hair stylists, society has fed us the line that extroverts are more attractive than introverts. And so many people hide their introversion, or never fully understand it to begin with.

What qualities to introverts possess? Well, you might be an introvert if...

• You get energy from being on your own, or doing your own thing when solitude isn't an option. 
• You don't care for small talk - you prefer to talk about big ideas.
• You don't mind socializing, necessarily, but prefer one-on-one interactions or small groups over crowds. 
• You think before you act or speak (even if it means you sometimes miss your chance).
• You have a rich inner life, filled with daydreams, ideas, theories, and thoughts you're still working out. 
• When you're left on your own, you rarely get bored. 
• You get overwhelmed in crowds, around loud noises, or in areas of frenetic activity (cough - Ikea - cough)
• You enjoy analyzing everything.

In contrast, extroverts are the kind of people who thrive being around other people. They're the people who will chat your ear off, if you let them, because they work out ideas by talking, rather than waiting until they have fully formed ideas to speak, like introverts tend to do. 

Just like how introverts may feel drained after a day being surrounded by people, extroverts may feel drained by too much solitude. They start to get bored, and crave interaction as a means of recharging. 

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert or an extrovert - the problem lies in the expectation that everyone should fit the same model. American society focuses on extroversion as the ideal. (Evidenced by our love of professional football and cramming as many sports fans into one arena as possible.) 

People hold a lot of stereotypes about introverts:

• Because introverts tend to listen more than they speak, people may assume their silence is a sign of aloofness or a superiority complex. Or depression. 
• Because introverts prefer to have their ideas polished before they share them, people may assume they have nothing to add to a discussion. 
• Because introverts may not willingly offer up personal information without being asked, people may assume they aren't open to new friends. 
• Because introverts find solitude energizing, people may assume they hate being around people. 
• Because extroverts can't imagine spending long stretches of time alone, introverts must be unhinged. (The Unibomber did us no favors on this front.)

These assumptions are more than a little unfair. They're particularly inflammatory to introverts because we know we're being judged by extroverts and an extroverted society, and our livelihoods depend on it. The entire model of society is built on the expectation of extroversion - from schools that rely heavily on vocal participation and teamwork, to office jobs that lean toward open-air cubicles and require self-promotion to get ahead - all things that play against an introvert's strengths. Some jobs flat out state that introverts are not welcome - again proving that people have no real idea what an introvert is or how they function. 

Let's set the record straight. When more than half of the population identifies as something, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. 

Just like there's nothing wrong with letting your roots grow out. If there's one thing I know for certain, blondes and extroverts do not have more fun than the rest of us. 

Nature's introverts.

cat tail by blhphotography

Cats must have incredible inner lives.

Words to live by.

Blogger and artist Moorea Seal created this graphic and writes beautifully about her own introversion:

But why is it bad when my life feels complete and so very peaceful and full when I have a lot of time alone? I am happy in my quiet. I feel fulfilled when I have a good amount of time alone, away from others. I do love adventure and change and new experiences so very much. But I don't need it all the time. I can find adventure and new fulfilling experiences within the contemplative world of my imagination just as much as the active physical world around me.

The Joy of Quiet

An article called "The Joy of Quiet" over at the New York Times caught my eye. Pico Iyer talks about the need for quiet or mental space in a world that's filled with distractions.

The urgency of slowing down — to find the time and space to think — is nothing new, of course, and wiser souls have always reminded us that the more attention we pay to the moment, the less time and energy we have to place it in some larger context. “Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries,” the French philosopher Blaise Pascal wrote in the 17th century, “and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” He also famously remarked that all of man’s problems come from his inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

When telegraphs and trains brought in the idea that convenience was more important than content — and speedier means could make up for unimproved ends — Henry David Thoreau reminded us that “the man whose horse trots a mile in a minute does not carry the most important messages.”

It goes on to talk about the popularity of yoga, unplugging from technology, and creating distance from the noise, and also cites the idea that people who live in less busy rural settings may "exhibit greater attentiveness, stronger memory and generally improved cognition."

The article is a great read, and I get the feeling that the people at the New York Times have an inherent understanding of the importance of inward-focus. It makes me wonder - just what percentage of New York Times readers do you think identify as introverts?

Introverted Traveler: The Tree Hotel in Harads, Sweden

Okay, I think we need to talk about Sweden. They clearly have a very different relationship with introversion than the rah-rah, party-driven American norm.

Just look at this hotel room at the Treehotel in Harads, Sweden. Utter perfection. Think of all the reading you could do in that room! The staring into the distance! Watching birds, squirrels, maybe even an owl! Think of all the thinking you could accomplish in a room like that!

This hotel room is proof that the Swedes get it - that introverts aren't villains, solitude is not a crime, and sometimes the best part of staying at a hotel is not having to talk to anyone while you're there.

The Mirrorcube room is exactly the kind of Scandinavian design that draws people to Ikea in droves: clever, minimalist, and a little bit baffling. To keep birds from flying into the glass, it's coated with infrared film, undetectable to human eyes. (Although I suspect Lisbeth Salander could probably see it.)

The Bird's Nest room looks like a bird watcher's wet dream. You can lay in bed and look out the windows, which actually sounds like something I might choose to do for the rest of my life if only I didn't have obligations. The room sleeps up to four people, and while the other beds are bunk beds, they too have their own little portholes.

Conspicuously lacking in these rooms are electronics - TVs, radios, clocks. Can you hear that? That's the sound of your soul unclenching in relaxation.

"Introverts Need Not Apply."

On a lark, I put "introvert" into a job engine to see what would come up. Here's what I found:

• If you are an introvert and seek a solitary, cubicle-based technology job - please don't apply.
• Wallflowers/introverts need not apply!
• The right personality/temperament is very important; an introvert will not work.
• No introverts.
• The executive is an introvert who is extremely nice, but...(I particularly enjoy the need to counter the boss's introversion with an assurance that he's very nice. Really.)

In contrast, putting "extrovert" into the same job engine pulls up phrases like:

• We're looking for a dynamic, extroverted, enthusiastic sales representative.
• Desire personality traits: A people person (extrovert)
• Extrovert (Ability to seek someone out and ask for something)
• Extroverts only please.
• The ideal candidate will have 3+ years of general accounting functions and an extroverted personality.

I've highlighted that last one in particular because accounting is one of the areas recommended to introverts as an introvert-friendly career path!

The whole world is mad for extroverts. People love people who love people, it seems. But there's also a serious misunderstanding happening here: the idea that introverts don't like people, can't ask for what they need, won't be friendly, or won't work well in teams.

What a smear campaign!

When jobs require that even accountants be extroverts (or ELSE), is there any room for people who do their best work in the company of their own thoughts? In a world that seems to focus more and more on teamwork, and in buildings where offices are being shucked in favor of cubicles, is the working world safe for introverts?